souliloquies

rainy saturday

i did good for a while, right? i mean, there were 2 or 3 posts in the SAME WEEK! yes indeed. but apparently i can't keep that up consistently... ;)

i will also take as good excuse that i went away on a pastoral prayer retreat for 4-5 days, with very sporadic internet access although you notice i did TRY which meant i couldn't post. ahem.

here's the report.

i'm working on website content for the worship consultancy. that's going to be fun, once i get it up and going. the website design has been decided, and logo/artwork is almost finished. by the first of april i should have something concrete to offer people. yay! 

pets are a focus these days. jake has been extraordinarily wonderful lately; we're very much enamored of him and his dazzling personality. recently we had family visit, along with their sweet little shihtzu puppy dog. jake would offer him toys tossing them over to him! and push little pieces of food over to him, as if to include charlie-boy in all the activities of the canine side of the house. if a dog can have the spiritual gift of hospitality, jake's got it! which is good, because his well, our buddy mccartney will be staying with us for a few days next week. hopefully it will be sunny; when the boys get together, they need lots of room to run and wrestle! and i'm longing more and more for another cat--since losing mr. whiskers in december, this is the first time i've lived without a cat since i was in college. so soon, we'll have to fill that hole, methinks...

the other focus these days is theatre. the HH has ended one production and is into another--this one a one-act that a fellow actor has written for a local festival event. and miss maggie is about to finish her run of midsummer's night dream this week. that's been a lot of fun, but a lot of work for her too--we're very proud of her, how hard she's worked at both this and school, doing so well...

and al is himself back in the theatre world a bit as he takes a class in theatre as part of his college fare. i'm the only one, at this point, who isn't doing something theatrical, but i may be about to change that, as i'm applying to direct a one-act for the town's summer one-act series. we'll see...

other than all that--getting ready to go see my aunt, uncle & cousin in dallas, as we all get to go to the nascar samsung 500 next month, and starting my prep for my last class in my denominational credentialing program, and getting ready for a one-shot class on painting with acrylics. still looking for part-time work. still working through grief and sadness. still enjoying the rainy weather. still working on visual art--painting, drawing, collaging. wrote a not-so-hot-but-i-like-it poem. looking for a photographer to capture a specific image for my website. still knitting--sheep and a scarf!

and just for grins, i'm spending as much of this dark, slow, rainy saturday as possible in my jammies. yes please!

 

 

 in other words, life, with all its myriad joys and challenges,  proceeds apace. 

shocked

 

 

 

i am shocked. in the full definition of the word. funny, written down it looks sarcastic. and it's not even in sarcastic font. but it's true--i really am. i just found out something about a colleague, something about which i had no idea, and i am thoroughly shocked. and rather astonished at the intensity of my response. so you get to come along with me as i process.

it started simply enough. as i may have mentioned somewhere along the way, after my job officially ended, i decided to take a couple months away from my church. i've wanted to make a clean break between my life on staff and my life as a congregant. and i'm wanting to spend several sundays at other churches, to experience different types of worship gatherings and different worship environments. after all, when you're on staff at a church, and especially when the worship services are your purvey, it's hard to ever get a chance to see what other churches are doing! also, our church has long been one that is a good friend with many of our local sister churches. we've worshipped together in joint gatherings, done community service together, and our pastors meet together regularly to encourage and support each other. so i was definitely interested in seeing how some of these other churches worship. so i looked to those first, checking out worship schedules and sermon series info. and that's when it happened.

one of the first churches i hoped to check was one that had intrigued me for a long time. they've got a young, hip pastor, that i've worked with on some of our joint ventures, and i enjoyed those experiences very much. they've got a cool name, a fabulous website. my expectations were that worshipping there would be a creative, contemporary, post-modern experience that i would very much appreciate. but while on their website, i noticed a particular consistency of language usage that made me a bit... curious. and then, as i read further, suspicious. and then i found the confirmation. 

all the language i'd seen, regarding church leaders and pastors, was male-only terminology; complementarian, to be more specific. and that's because they've decided to become affiliated with the Acts 29 movement, started by Mars Hill Church Executive Pastor Scott Thomas in Seattle, WA.

now, don't get me wrong--i know that there are many, many churches who hold the complentarian point of view. i'm not naive enough to expect that just because a church seems hip and cool it will support exactly the same vales that i do. but somehow, finding out that this particular pastor as well as a second pastor from this church that i've often worked with believes that women don't belong in pastoral leadership, don't belong in the pulpit--that God doesn't approve of women in these positions--is a serious bombshell to me, as someone who believes she's been gifted and called to pastoral ministry. i worked with these pastors on planning worship gatherings, on setting them up and working them through. and all that time, were they thinking she doesn't belong here. her service in this role is against God's will. perhaps they even thought it was a sin, for me to be an actual pastor on staff? 

and then i have to examine our church's relationship with this church. when we support their ministry, are we actually supporting their complementarian values, or are we agreeing to disagree? what about the other churches in this group? and at what point do i say--and do we as a church say--no, we can't support you because of that. if they didn't allow men of color in the pulpit, would we still work together with them? would we stay in relationship in order to possibly change their beliefs? or would we just close our eyes to the truth, and ignore it in the name of peace and unity between Christian churches in one of the darkest, most unchurched areas of the country? 

i don't know the answer to any of these questions. i'm not sure i'm even asking the right questions yet. all i know is that i now have a different perspective on two men i thought of as colleagues, two men with whom i thought i shared mutual respect, and certainly a different view of their church. i'm even questioning my own openly egalitarian  congregation's relationship with that other church. and i know i'm stunned to find this out, shocked to discover it, and surprised at my own intense response to this information. 

oh--i do know one other thing. i know i won't be attending that other church any time soon.

not quite julie & julia--but edging closer

i've been doing more cooking lately. being unemployed, i've had more time, and more desire, i think, and it's a good creative outlet. and sometimes only sometimes cooking from scratch is cheaper, so it's a good money-saver as well. i think i'm actually becoming a pretty good cook. i'll never be cooking my way through Julia Child's gastronomic tome, but i'm fascinated, in a rather out-of-body objective observation, the way my skills are developing. not ever something i thought i'd be, but there it is.

for instance--last night i cooked for my in-laws. while not quite foodies, they definitely have evolved sophisticated taste. and eveline--well, she's french, of royal lineage, and some of the finest meals i've ever had have been served at her table. said table, to add to the effect, often graced with the salt cellar of napoleon bonaparte's table... 

anyway, the point is, not only did i cook--i cooked recipes i'd never cooked before. and i wasn't that worried about it! not that it was an uber-difficult meal or anything. and i'd had it all once before, so i knew that it was good--if i could get it right! if you cook, you know how it is--it's always a bit of a crap-shoot when you try a new recipe. often it needs tweaking, adapting, adjusting. but this time i did it without any glitches! mostly! well. the mustard-herb crusted beef tenderloin was a little rare, my oven seems to run a little cool but dear eveline stepped in and helped me by slicing and quickly sauteeing the meat in olive oil for a few seconds on each side--made all the difference. the butternut squash with sage & orzo came out wonderfully, and the spinach salad with mushroom, red onion, and toasted almond is always yummy. I was so excited to have everyone dig in and love it--even my nephew who confessed that he wasn't big on eating beef, but went back for seconds anyway. culinary victory!

and now--now i'm a little obsessed with what i can do with the leftovers. so tomorrow, i believe it's going to be pureed squash & orzo soup--with parmesan, and maybe some sour cream, or yogurt added in? and a wilted spinach salad with tenderloin strips. i'd never have thought of that a year ago--would have either just eaten the leftovers for lunch, or left them in the fridge until they *had* to go, if you know what i mean. but now--now those leftovers are fodder for creating something new and fun. some of you are probably very good at this, but it's new to me. i'm not exactly a domestic goddess, you know...

my father-in-law was so excited about the dinner that he took pictures. i'll post them as soon as i get them from him, and then also pics of the soup/salad phase II. until then:

i can't resist--

bon appétit!

we're baack...

we're as in the rain, which has been conspicuously absent these last couple of days, and before that for a few weeks, and me. who's been conspicuously absent much longer.

i guess it's having lived for so many decades in phoenix that i still get excited about rainy days--especially rainy days when i don't really have to go anywhere. i think it's that having lived in the desert for so long i have an enormous personal rainfall deficit that four years in northern california can't begin to touch. but whatever the reason, i do. get excited, that is. rain makes me happy. and it's raining today.

today is also the third day of my third week of... well, not just unemployment, but also un-ministryment. no more church staff position. no position of any kind, for that matter, although i am, as they say, in the hunt. craigslist job postings, my new bff. and it feels a bit weird. but it's a new phase of my life, and i wanted to start sharing this new part of the journey with you.

i'm sorry to have stopped posting. i'm hoping some of you missed me... don't tell me if you didn't, i don't want my illusionary bubbles burst! but it was such a hard year and-a-half and not-so-nice things kept happening being lonely for dear colleagues at work, cat diagnosed with diabetes & needing insulin twice a day & fancy expensive food, job being eliminated, back going out completely twice followed by drs & physical therapy, cat shockingly suddenly dying of something else entirely, getting $2800 stolen from our bank acct via paypal, the HH needing heart procedure he's fine now, HH's aunt dying... how much of that could i keep writing about? there's only so much about grief and loss that a reading audience i flatter myself that i do have one, intimate and exclusive though it may be can stand!and i've realized, too, that i felt bad about being so knocked down by this stuff. most of it was difficult, yes, but in some sense i've felt embarrassed, or ashamed, that my response to all these has been so intense. so... long-lasting. nonetheless, it is what it is. it's been painful, and even as i write this, i'm aware of that deep core of sadness i still carry.  and so, i chose to, in the sentiment of these slightly mis-applied words of Jed, a character from one of my favorite brain-candy movies Cat Ballou, starring Jane Fonda, 

...apologize for my disgusting condition and I assure you I will not inflict myself on you any further.

in other words, since i couldn't say anything nice...

yeah, that.

but it's getting better. i'm getting better. the good days outnumber the bad. sometimes, it's more about the good hours outnumbering the bad, but still. and i'm learning too that the more i spend time with friends and loved ones, the better i get. last week was especially good--time spent with two wonderful friends and clients, a girls' night in, drinks out with my HH and the cast of his current play, a lovely church service with music worship lead by my fav worship leader... it was so good, so encouraging, so nourishing. it was a really good week.

and i'm working on new "work"--getting websites designed, consulting paradigms developed, strategy detailed out. that's exciting, as well as encouraging! 

it's been a long year. or year-and-a-half. i hope things are on the upturn now.  but even if they're not, i hope i'm on the upturn. i'm working on taking better care of myself. i'm taking a painting class, i'm working on my writing, i'm taking care of my back. 

and i'm doing my best to acknowledge and work through my sadness. and i hope you don't mind--i may do some of that here. i found for myself last week, talking with a friend who's had a rough time recently as well, that i felt better talking about it together. maybe me talking about it here will help somebody else.

and it won't all be doom & gloom, for sure. my life is always a bit kooky and crazy, so i'll make sure to share that stuff with you too. i might even show you some of my quite pathetic paintings. oh! and i'm learning to knit--so i can make little sheep. at this point i have a body and three legs knitted. that's only taken me two weeks to get done. at this rate, i'll have a whole flock by the time i'm 60!

 

this post is dedicated to M, who is ever-faithful and even more ever-encouraging about this blog. this one's for you, girl dear!

 

 

i-what?

so today was the official announcement. and my wonderful hh, knowing my ilust for an iphone, sent me a voicemail telling me to get the info together--how much would verizon cost us to do our 5 phones, with two of them being iphones or, depending on what he decides to get, one iphone and one some other android-smartphone-something-or-other and data plans and etc.

FINALLY! HOORAY! i'm going to get an iphone!! i can't wait. it may be silly, but i really hate the fact that i don't have one. i remember last february, while at a denominational conference, sitting at dinner with a dozen other people, mostly artists, and i was the only one without an iphone. it was not exactly fun. in fact, it was lame. 

i know, i could have had some other kind of smartphone. the hh would have probably agreed to that on our current provider. but i want to be able to synch up my phone directly to my ical. i don't want to have to work some convoluted system-through-google plan. and i want my itunes. and, frankly, i'm an applephile, so i want an apple product if i'm going to spend that kind of money on a fancy phone. in other words, i want an iphone. period.

but i'm starting to wonder--is verizon's version of the iphone a real iphone? i'm a little disturbed by the vague discussions of various shortcomings in the verizon version, not the least of which is that it won't be 4G. wonder what else it won't have? is this the converse one-star of iphones?

i want the real thing.i want an iphone. and since, as someone who lives in the bay area, i can't stomach at&t, it's going to be an iphone on verizon. hopefully that will be the real thing.

 

 

love letters (or, the longest blog post EVER)

i often don't like to read long blog posts. so i apologize ahead of time for writing one, but you writers out there know--it is what it is...

it's been a tough couple of weeks around here. lots of things up in the air, stress, chaos, yada yada yada. on november 4th i'm meeting with my boss, to discuss some changes in my work situation, changes that can only be discussed in person. somehow, i'm not thinking that's going to include a promotion or a raise! it's not an easy thing, but it's also--fine. it's really fine. after all, decisions are being made with the goal of God's best for the church, for the congregation, for His Kingdom, in mind. which, i believe, includes for me. i feel the way you do when you're about to have surgery--apprehensive, hopeful, relieved that there's an end to the uncertainty, and excited to see what God has in mind for the future.

ministry is such a strange vocation. i'm not sure that there's any other career choice that so involves what for most people are different parts of their lives--faith, family, and friends. last weekend, after speaking to one of our adult sunday school classes ironically enough about my role on the pastoral staff i found myself standing at the edge of the courtyard looking across at the main building of my church, from the outside, as it were, through streaming rain. i had picked up some slices of cheese from the refreshment table in the class, and realized i had better eat them before walking back, not wanting them to melt in the downpour! as i looked at the church, i couldn't help but wonder what it might be like to not be on staff anymore.

we're asked, you see, as ministers, to be deeply connected within our congregational communities, to be closely connected to those we serve. and our families join us in this: serving on ministry teams both of my still-at-home kids serve in the children's ministry, and my husband serves the youth group, making friends my daughter's best friends at school are also in the youth group with her, serving our broader community together. our lives become heavily entwined. and it isn't just about pastor/congregational ties, it's also about staff-to-staff relationships. some of my dearest friends are those with whom i've served on various church staffs. this particular staff is intentionally friendship-based; so much so that it's in our letters of call must be willing to be part of a friendship-based staff relationship. so for the past four years we've worked hard to develop and strengthen our relationships. some of my difficulties this past year, as you, my Dear Readers, know, has been the departure of two dear friends from my current staff. we're still close, but i so miss them while at work! i miss the day-to-day collaboration, sharing of inconsequential details of life that make it so rich, the partnering, even as we work on separate tasks in the same room, of hearts and souls, minds and hands toward a common, highly-valued goal.

but when staff positions end... all these relationships are affected, too. while some friendships can be preserved and maintained, some can't, especially when moving to another church staff. relational energy has to be expended on current congregations, friendships developed in a new church family, and often a change of geography makes keeping friendships active really hard. in our case, we're going to choose an unusual path--we plan to stay in this church, for several years, at least. we're choosing to stay involved in this community while our kids are in school and so heavily invested in both ministry and mentorship. we'll choose to stay within this faith family whether or not i'm part of the staff.

i don't know what this will mean for me vocationally. i'll need to earn money--we can'd do without my income i do know that i want to work in the arts, more specifically to work with artists musicians, authors, whatever... and i know that i'm called to ministry, or that, rather, i am God's minister, pastor, vocational slave, whatever it is you want to label it. i will continue pursuing ordination, because i love this denomination with all my heart, and am committed to serve here as best i can. and i know that's right, know that it's what God wants me to do, because this week He has... well... He's sent me physical, tangible love letters, letters that tell me not only how much He loves me, but how much He desires me to stay in ministry. they may not look like love letters at first--you may even disagree with me that they're actually love letters at all--but i've realized that's exactly what they are. and they've all come through His people, which has made it all even more meaningful. 

the first letter came early in the week. a woman in our congregation who i don't know well came to me as i sat in the tech booth, and told me i'd been on her heart, and that she had a book to give me, that she would leave for me the next day. it's the most unique and beautiful book i've seen in a long time, a book called take me to the water. i have been so moved by this book, by the images and sounds of people celebrating their coming to faith, celebrating being found and loved by Jesus, i can't really put it into words.

the second letter came on wednesday afternoon. i was in the sanctuary setting up the video for our alpha program later that night, and as i did so the caterer who makes the alpha dinner came in with her brother, who is mentally challenged. he's a wonderful guy, always makes sure to give me a big hug and ask how i am. this day he wanted to know how long i'd be around, and when i told him about another half-hour, he grinned widely and said, that's plenty of time! don't leave without coming to see me in the kitchen! when i'd finished my work i went in to say goodbye, and he proudly announced that he'd made something just for me, then presented me with a large, beautiful yarn ojo de Dios that he'd created on two wooden cooking skewers. again, i was so moved, that he'd taken the time to create that beautiful thing for me. it's going on the wall in my new home office.

the third letter came yesterday morning. i opened my email to find a message from a man i don't know. he was part of the staff of a media conference i'd attended back in july. turned out, he told me, that they'd come across a journal with my name on it, and would i like them to mail it back to me? would i??  yes please!!  i have been so sad about losing that journal--it was a new one, but i had removed the most important pages out of my old one to put in this one, and when i lost it--i lost all of those that were the most important ones for me to keep.

so those are my three love letters this week. the first--a celebration and demonstration of the lives changed in ministry, seems to me a confirmation of what i do, and an encouragement perhaps even a slight admonition! not to leave it, however God might end up shaping the form of it.

the second letter: --made, i should add, with colors used in the cover of the book-- that's easy. it's an ojo de Dios--an eye of God. Seems to me a message that He sees me, that He's watching over me and caring for me.

and the third--holy cats. i never thought i'd get that journal back. thought i'd left it on the plane, or in a hotel room--gone forever. so i am overwhelmed by the idea that God not only knew that my journal and its contents were important to me, but that for months now He's been taking care of it, excitedly waiting for just the right time to give it back to me... i cried over that one.

i'm reminded by all this that God is continually sending us love letters, most of the time more subtle ones, but love letters nonetheless. i think i've been in a place where i needed more dramatic, flamboyant missives these days--He needed to get my attention!--but i'm convinced He's always trying to tell us how much He loves us, that He has us on His heart and, as a scripture I keep hearing lately declares, He has engraved me on the palms of His hands. i'm beyond grateful for the reminders, as i'm always in need of them.

i'm also grateful to those people who delivered these letters to me this week, for their being part of His postal service. makes me wonder how often some impulse i've followed was really a love letter from God to someone, and makes me want to be more intentional about listening to see if He has a particular letter He wants me to deliver. it's so much fun to get these--i want to be part of delivering them too!

thanks for reading all this, for helping me process the crazy exciting journey i'm on these days. you are loved and appreciated. and--i'll bet there are love letters on their way to you right now. tell me about them when you get them, would you? i'd love to hear!

 

i don't like it--no, not anywhere at all

 

(spoiler alert!)

 

now, before i get going--forgive me, my friends, those of you who are participating in the "i like it..." campaign on facebook. i don't mean to insult you, or disparage your support of an incredibly important cause--the fight against breast cancer. instead, i applaud you for your compassion.

but... i confess, i don't get it. i didn't get the what color? campaign, and i don't get how this campaign does anything to actually help breast cancer victims. and i really don't understand--in fact, i'm appalled about--a campaign that is deliberately sexist. a campaign for which, as one blogger put it, the idea is to unite around the cause in a secret way and leave all the men folk in the dark. really?

as i said, i don't get it. i don't get why we should leave the guys out, and i don't get how this actually, tangibly helps fight this deadly disease. after all, who are often the staunchest, most loyal and dedicated supporters and caretakers of breast cancer victims? that's right--men. husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sons... men. and do you know that breast cancer is not limited to only one gender? as a matter of fact, the latest info from the American Cancer Society estimates that nearly 2,000 new cases of invasive breast cancer will likely be diagnosed among US men, and approximately 3,500 men will die from breast cancer. 

instead of thinking up cutesy campaigns to create some curious buzz, what about doing something really helpful? i don't think breast cancer needs to be made more public; most of us know someone who's been diagnosed with it, if we haven't ourselves. instead, if you want to help--then help. i have several friends who have participated in various breast cancer fundraisers, raising significant amounts of money to contribute toward research. it's easy to post a provocative facebook status, and feel like you're doing something significant, but you're not really accomplishing anything except posting a facebook status. as a matter of fact, this super-secret girls-only campaign is not only irritating and trivial, but it leaves out an incredibly important group of victims and supporters--people who for the most part don't carry purses.

and really don't give a flip about where you like to put yours.

8:47

just so you're warned--i had two glasses of wine. the spumoni cheesecake was as good as it looked, and i know that's not just me, because the people at the tables on both sides of me commented on how beautiful it was, and the waitress said she was envious of me--she had to wait for her break to have any of it, and she was hoping they actually had some left. so you know it was wonderful. and since i was finishing julie & julia, it was important to be eating something fabulous.

but i digress.

i decided this post, which is likely but not certainly my last for this trip, should concern the traveling tips i've learned over this year. i've added it up--i've flown over 17,000 miles since the first of this year. which for some of you isn't that big a deal, but for me it's HUGE. i have at least 3 more trips to take--two for work, one for pleasure my birthday! but the flying part, or so i think, is done for this year. and i have acquired some knowledge, which, in the wine-induced glow i'm experiencing right now and it's just a glow, that's all! i thought i'd share.

there are some things that i will no longer fly without. they include a travel coffee mug because if you're a coffee or tea drinker, it's almost a guarantee that you will be somewhere with crappy tiny cups, a battery-operated book light on 3 different trips i was in rooms with crappy lighting and couldn't read, and gaff gaffer's tape, because it's one of the best kinds of tape around, and can fix almost anything, at least temporarily. 

i've also figured out that to get through security you have to think about your carry-on items strategically. wear pants that don't need a belt, because taking off and putting on a belt convinces you that you should have dressed at the airport instead of at home. remember that all that pocket stuff--chapstick, keys, phone--can go into your carry-on bag as you approach security, so you never have to dump it all in the dumb little dog-dish that security provides.  i've come to realize that the TSA folks really appreciate you making questionable items visible. i'm often carrying video & audio adapters, along with batteries, which look rather suspicious under X-ray, but if i take my little case out for them, suddenly are extremely innocuous, which is as it should be. find a laptop case that allows you to keep from pulling out your laptop; instead keeping it inside. and wear flip-flops if at all possible, so you're not tying or untying shoes as you prove that you're not trying to explode anyone with your wingtips or cowboy boots. or, if it's too cold for that, go this route:

yes, that's correct. i wore my slippers to fly in today. please note: i have pulled my jeans up to allow you full view; i really don't wear my pants at flood-preparation length. really. they have hard rubber bottoms, so they're fine for the airport. and they slip on and off to ease me through the security checkpoint. and they're fuzzy and comfortable, especially important on a day like today, when i'm in the airport forever. and the best part of wearing them is that people around me look at them, do a double-take, and then look as jealous as hell.  which makes me both comfortable and feeling superiorly gratified. very, very good.

47 minutes.

7:07 pm

 

sorry this isn't a great photo, but i think you can see well enough to know that it's not ice cream, nor is what's in that glass by any stretch of the imagination beer. because, it's hard, you know, to find both in one place in any airport restaurant.  so, instead, i have settled for spumoni cheesecake. and that being as fabulous as it is way more fabulous than the picture can demonstrate i decided it should be accompanied by a little wine. a local chardonnay, to be more specific.

2.5 hours to go.

 

the way home: 5:47 pm

 

 

all right, my dear readers. i'm here in the denver airport, at the end of an amazing retreat that i was gifted via a grant from my denomination. and no, i'm not going to tell you about it here; suffice to say it was lovely and intense and exactly what i needed at this point in my crazy life. it was at a catholic retreat center in allenspark, co, a center which had played host to the pope (john paul the whateverth) when he came through the west. it was at 9000 ft, and i only closed the door to my room's balcony once the whole time i was there, the weather was so fabulous. the whole darn thing was wonderful.

it's also located almost a two-hour drive from DIA. and there was a bus to take all of us back. which meant we arrived here at 3:40 this afternoon. six hours before my flight leaves.

i didn't think too much about this all when i made the reservation several months ago.  we were told we couldn't leave before 4pm, and because i wanted to fly southwest--free bags, and the airline with which i've already earned umpteen frequent flyer miles this year--i had very little choice. i could leave at 4:55, change planes in LAX and arrive at SFO at 9:00. or i could leave at 5:50 and arrive at 9:05. or 6:20 and arrive at 9:50, or 7:05 and arrive at 10:25, or--yes, you guessed it--9:35 and arrive at 11:10.  and since my dear hubby is in a play, and doesn't get finished until 10-something, i opted for more time in the airport and much! less time in the plane itself.

so. here i am. did you know that you can't check your bags more than 4 hours before your flight? i didn't either, until i tried. so i've spent the last two hours in a taco shop, the place closest to the baggage check place so i didn't have to schlepp my heavy bags far made even heavier by the Christmas presents i bought in estes park--i was checking them after all! eating tacos and trying not to guzzle a negro modelo, so it would last until i could free myself of said schlepping. and then--i thought of you.

so i thought i'd keep you posted. i'm also finishing up reading julie & julia, which might be why i felt like blogging a little too...  i'm going now to finally check my bags. after that i might get some ice cream. or another beer. or both, depending on how many more times i have to listen to the call for karen somebody-or-other and john--yes, really--surreal to come to a white courtesy phone.

i'll let you know.